I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
