Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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