This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
