I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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