:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
