Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
