Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
