we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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