You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
