dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
