He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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