so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
