Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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