So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
