I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
