Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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