if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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