do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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