dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
