I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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