What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
