I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize