Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
