dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
