Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
