His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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