Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
