Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
