I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
