I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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