i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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