This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize