there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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