wat bout pragnant strippers??
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
