after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
