omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
