I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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