So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
