this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were trust falling into bushes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
