Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
