maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
