hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
