Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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