i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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