So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
