there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
