um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dick very happy bro
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
