im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
