remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
