I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
