i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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