I just made out with a guy for $7.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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