you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
