Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
