im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We need to rekindle our bromance
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
