Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
