Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
