Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
