Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
