Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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