i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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