Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
