so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
