so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
